“The human mind has a primitive ego defense mechanism that negates all realities that produce too much stress for the brain to handle. It’s called Denial.”
― Dan Brown, Inferno
Definitely TRUE. Practicing self-denial would only distance us from the reality of this life. Denial becomes our defense mechanism to put away all the negatives we have been going through, to the extent that we are lying to ourselves just to save us from pains, anger, suffering and even happiness. We are insisting to make sham to be be genuine, despite of the truth being displayed before our eyes, we keep on pulling away from it. We shut our eyes to avoid seeing the reality. We pretend of being not aware of the things around us, and I think that the hurts most; when we pretend yet we know what is really happening.
“None of us ever know all the possible courses our lives could
have and maybe should have taken.”
Liane Moriarty, The husband’s secret
“If I'd done better, then this would not happen.”
‘IF’ is a wounded word to be created ever. When we try to land our mind to the past, there are some regrets that are crashing back into our life. We cannot avoid hoping that during that time, we somehow wish that if given a chance, we want to amend the mistakes we had done and every regret we committed would lost its way in our life. There are so many if’s that we remorse that occurred in our lives.
We don’t know what our future may bring to us. Only God knows every proceedings in our lives. That is why for this present moment we live, we must consider every decision we take, this is an opportunity that must be embraced, because we might not hold this kind of chance anymore. Regret is something we don’t want to contrive in our hearts; we don’ want to utter “It’s too late” at the end of the day.
“But forgiving isn’t something you do for someone else. It’s something you do for yourself”
Jodi Picoult, The Storyteller
I had been confused with people who easily abandon the hurt and pain that triggered by betrayal, deception and lies. These people wronged them; so why forgive them? Wherein fact, they left a big scar on the hearts and these bruises are not easy to mend. Sometimes, I want to label these people as willing victims. They are the victims, yet they are the one who show mercy.
Or might be because they have a tender heart to forgive people. I used to think that if I were in their situation, then I wouldn't going to forgive these people who caused so much grief in me.
But I had been wrong all this time to think this way. If God forgives, then why can I do that? I came to realization that It’s not the people who mistreated me will end up pitiful; It’s me actually who is unfortunate to shoulder this hatred and burden throughout my life. If I would not learn to forgive, then there is a part of me in the past that I would continue to carry to my present and even to future. And if I always looking back to these woe and pain that planted in my heart; then I could not move on. If I would not let go this agony; I would live forever with a burden in me. I do not what that to happen, I want to forgive people so that any pain they caused me will put into oblivion and this ache will not affect the way I live. I do not want it to reside in my heart. It will only poison me and I won’t let this anger eating me up.
No matter how hard as it seems, learn to forgive. Do this for YOURSELF.